Enzie's Blog

19th February 2010

Post with 1 note

A poem I just typed out.

I sit alone and wonder close my curtains side to side.

so that the only glimmer of light inside, comes from my eyes

staring into a blank screen, fingers numb from the lack of heating

hoping it spreads to my heart, so that it numbs where it stops beating.

if i cant feel it, i wont have to worry anymore.

sitting in curiosity of how i should be feeling, cycled in thoughts.

which would i prefer? which would make me happy?

trying to reach out, but my arms reach is lacking.

i feel you growing distant, and if im wrong then so be it.

i read through everything to remind me of the feeling.

crying inside because my mind keeps believing.

but my hearts acting alone and crying inside recieving.

a torture alone, my actions and thoughts know the truth.

it thinks of your presence as if im alone on an island looking for a piece of fruit.

eventually ill find it, and ive been searching ever since.

i dug my head out of the sand, and refreshed myself as if bathing in mints.

and my mind can cope,  it understands the situation to never flinch.

but your words only work to there, my heart isnt convinced.

it just takes one action, one plea to take my heart back to how it was.

but each day we spend less time that i can predict it getting lost.

spending more isolated from everybody, unable to heal myself up to speed.

why am i so hurt? when was this pain recieved?

i see hope eventually, im just stuck in this stupid route.

hoping that sooner or later, youll release me back out.

if im crying inside, and cant do anything but watch it surface.

i want you to save me and show me a purpose.

show me a reason why im stupid, wrong and looking for attention.

and that this is all just an act rather than a road to depression.

i feel an old part of me coming back,  a part which i hated so much.

i part of me that caused me so much pain and almost fucked me up.

a part that drove you away because my feelings were too strong.

so i sit here curtains drawn waiting for time to prove me wrong.